Don't cry anymore my darling
by IsuzuForever
Summary: An overview of Rin's life, starting at child hood. When she meets Haru things change for the better. Make sure you have a stronger stomach to read this! The first chapter is really graphic. R&R! Please!
1. Bad Rin

A/N: Of course I had to write a fanfic about Rin and Haru. This one can get a little graphic so, if you have a weak tummy or something, don't read! More to come! Keep reading!

Chapter 1

I was standing before my parents, dressed in cute blue dress they bought for me a day earlier. They had always bought me what I desired, toys, candy, and clothes. It seemed as though they loved me fiercely.

"Why do you love Rin so much? Don't you ever get sad?" I innocently asked tilting my head to one side and smiling at them.

"The truth is, Isuzu, we don't," my father answered kneeling down to my nine year old eye level.

"We wanted everyone to think that we were the perfect, happy family," my mom added "Now whip that smile off of your ugly face."

Her soft expressions hardened into a look that made me cringe and shutter away from her in fear. My father walked out of the room, leaving me alone with the woman that hates me so for being born.

"Now you'll feel what I have felt everyday of my life since your miserable birth," she said sulking closer to me.

She raised her hand and brought it down hard across my face. I began to cry, all this time I had been fooled into thinking that they loved me. All they did was buy off their hatred for me. She continued to slap me until I was back up into a corner.

"Why are you crying? Does it hurt?" She asked sarcastically, her eyes searing with evil.

She got to the point where slapping me wasn't enough to fulfill her deep rooted hatred for me. My mom punched my left eye, then my stomach. I was lying on the floor bawling my eyes out. I began to choke on my spit and my words became nothing but pathetic whimpers for the deceitful woman to stop this senseless beating.

"Can you imagine all the fake smiles we had to plaster on just so we wouldn't do this?" she screamed kicking me once more before she left me to wallow in all that happened in the past 15 minuets.

Tears were pouring out of my numb eyes. I could feel bile rise up in my throat, then all of my previous meals were falling out of my mouth and onto the green carpet I had been brutally beaten on.

I looked up and saw my father; he shook his head in disgust.

"What a bad little Rin, you really shouldn't puke, it's rather disgusting. But, what should I expect from such a nasty creature?" he asked spitting venom at me.

In a moment of sheer naïve childhood innocence I stretched my arm out in a desperate cry for help.

"No baby, you have no one who can help you now," he simply replied and knelt down again giving me a look that said he no longer would hold me like before.

"Since you made such a big mess, clean it up…With your tongue."

"No daddy, please, please. That's so gross," I pleaded looking up at the mad that I once loved with all my heart.

"That's exactly how I felt every time I have to kiss you good night or in front of Akito. The taste of your grotesque skin is still in my mouth no matter how hard I try to scrub it out." his strong hands, that at one point cradled every little fear of mine, were now punching at my kidneys and my back as I rolled over into my meals.

I sat up to escape the foul smell,

"No, no! Bad Rin!" my papa scolded me and pushed my face into the fresh puke. "Now eat!" he pushed my face in deeper yet.

The fumes made my eyes water, "I can't father, I'm going to puke again," I cried trying to whip it off my bruising cheeks.

"Isuzu, you are not worthy of love. When you're older you'll see, that not a person in this world could ever love the horse," His voice was harsh and the words scarred me internally.

They will never leave my mind, for as long as I live. They will influence who I talk to, and who I don't. They are stained in my mind, never to be erased. My papa turned his back to me and walked out the door.

I could feel layers upon layers, walls being built all to protect myself from all the pain I know is yet to come.

"When you're older you'll see, that not a single person in this world could ever love the horse…"


	2. Child's play

Chapter 2

The abuse continued, usually I was beaten at completely random times, or so I thought they were. However, in the whole process I managed to make a friend, Hatsuharu. He asked me to take a walk with him one day after my parents sent me to my room. Our friendship just blossomed from a simple walk.

He would come and ask if I wanted to play outside with him. I finally had friend, and it was the most amazing thing in the whole world! Haru helped me escape the pain. As long as I was with him all my problems faded with ever drawing, or ever game.

I was never truthful about my bruises or scrapes however.

"What happened to Rin's eye?" he asked me one day.

"I hit it on a desk," I replied touching it lightly, but still enough pressure to cause it to sting immensely all through my face.

As my battered body became more frequently beaten, I would be exhausted easily everyday.

"Why won't Rin play jump rope anymore?" Haru held a plastic jump rope in his tiny and pale hands.

"I'm tired," I simply said.

"No you're not!" Haru playfully pulled at my hands and tried to pull me up.

"No Haru-san! I'm tired!" I refused to get up.

Haru just pulled me up as if I were nothing more than a feather.

"See? It's not so bad!" he smiled and began to turn the rope.

I jumped, although my legs were severely bruised and it hurt to walk, much less jump. My now 12 year old body couldn't stand all the physical stress. Haru sang a little rhyme; it had something to do with lovers and names.

"You've got a boy friend and his name is A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-" I fell to the ground hitting my head hard on the concrete.

"HATORI!" Haru yelled freaking out, "HATORI!" even though I couldn't see my only friend, I could tell he was becoming frantic for help.

I felt his small arms attempt to pick me up. Haru carried me for a few feet, but he soon grew weak. He sat me down under some shade.

"Stay here, I'll go get Ha-san," he sounds desperate to help me.

It felt like an eternity until Haru returned.

"Rin's over there!"

"Calm down Haru," Hatori's meaningless efforts only enraged Hatsuharu.

"NO! SHE'S HURT! HELP HER!" Haru finally yelled punching something. J

I'm not quiet sure what it was, all I know is that it was broken into a hundred pieces. I heard footsteps getting closer, closer still; Then, Hatori's arms lifting me up from the shady area.

I don't know what happened from there, but my next recollection was waking up in a hospital bed in a gown. I hear Haru talking to the nurse, asking kid like questions.

"Can you fix her?"

"We'll try our best," the nurse answered opening up the door without another word.

"Are you up Rin?" he questioned heading towards me. "Ha-san called your parents; they haven't gotten here yet…"

"NO!"

"What?"

"I mean I'm tired, I need to get some sleep. I shouldn't have any visitors," I looked around nervously.

Haru looked at me as if he was drowning and I was letting him.

"What's going on Rin? Everyday I see you there are more bruises and scratches. You get tired so easily, even if we just draw. And now you don't want to see your parents?"

"It's nothing Haru."

"I may be a year younger than you, but I'm not stupid."

"Seriously, it's nothing."

He headed to the door, "So then you won't mind if your mom comes in, right?"

I was hoping against all hope that he was bluffing, "You're bluffing."

"Oh, am I?" He turned the door knob and opened it ever so slightly-

"NO!"

"So there is something?" Haru pulled one of the uncomfortable chairs up to my bed and sat down.

He took my hand and put it close to his face, "Please tell me. I can't help you if I have no idea what's going on," his plea hit me right in my heart, but I couldn't put him in any type of danger.

The next few days were long and frightening. Doctors upon doctors had to look at my bruises, make sure that they could heal, evaluate my scratches and stick IV's into my arm. Then, as if that wasn't enough, a woman came in and asked me questions.

"Are your parents doing this to you? Do you do it to yourself?"

The same questions over and over again. No matter how hard she tried, I kept saying no to every question she fired my way. When she was finally hearing the word "No" she left and Haru came in.

"Are you going to tell me what happened yet?" he asked.

There was something different about his eyes, something more serious, a little less naïve. It was almost as if he had grown up in the last few days.

"Why should it matter?" I returned coldly.

Maybe if I'm mean to him I can drive him away; therefore putting him out of dangers way. It was worth a shot.

"You're my best friend! When you're beaten by your parents, then it becomes a problem to me too!" he yelled.

I was in complete shock, how did he know? I think if my jaw hadn't been hinged on me right it would have fallen off. Haru took the chair again and sat next to me. He stood up for a moment; his long fingers ran through my raven hair. He held some stray strands and then kissed my forehead. This was a surprise too. Did he like me? Or was it more of familiarity kiss?

"Rin, please don't put distance in between me and you. We're best friends." Haru begged sitting down again.

I looked at him, how did he know? Was I really his best friend? A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts.

"It's me, Hatori-san," he introduced as Haru opened the door for him. "Isuzu, I have good news." He started, "You don't have to live with your parents anymore, and Kagura's family is taking you in. After Haru went to see them, they confessed to abusing you."

"What? Haru? Did you really do that?" I looked over at him completely stunned.

He just nodded his head and held my hand.

"When can I leave?" I asked, I was getting very annoyed with the whole place.

"Right now, but he has to give you daily check ups" Haru answered for Hatori-san.

Before I knew it I was at Kagura's house unpacking all my belongings into a little room that was now mine.


	3. Flawed among the Perfect

A/N: This is my romantic chapter!

Chapter 3

I have to give them credit, they tried. They tried to fit me into their quaint family, tried to include me in their family outings, trips, and activities. It's just that I'm tired of families. I want to have only Haru, all the thoughts about, the wants, the urges, they all scared me.

As I grew, so did my passion to posses Haru. I wanted his body, his heart, his soul, I wanted him to be mine, and mine alone. I can't stand him being anything less. All the innocent days of being "just friends" all faded and our early friendship only fed my desire to be the owner of Haru's heart.

I wanted to be his entire world, the only person he would ever need. But, despite all of my passion to be his everything, I couldn't. Akito's jealous rage would find us, and I wouldn't be able to protect Haru. Our love would only destroy us in the end. I had to put all my emotions; desire's and wants to save Haru from her.

Before I turned 17 all these desires ate away at me. I guess with every passing year I grew more mature and realized that what I wanted wasn't as important as protecting him. I'm not sure if my feelings were pure lust or if I had actually fallen in love with my best friend. I had a good reason to lust.

His body began to grow more muscular, while maintaining the same lankiness it always had. Haru's once naïve smoky gray eyes grew more mature and had the look of sweet seduction. I found myself wanting to grab his waist and kiss him deeply, wanting to run my nails down his back, wanting to be more than just a friend to him. These feelings had to be suppressed so I wouldn't hurt him. I couldn't stand to be with myself if he got hurt because I couldn't control my hormones.

Haru and I spent most of our time enjoying each other's company. It was usually at my house, well my new house; we would listen to music, draw pictures, and talk for hours on end. I couldn't get enough of his presence, his voice the way his cheeks perked up when he laughed. I loved it all about him. I couldn't stand being away from him, it was too long before we saw each other again.

I fell in love with him, deeper and deeper, until I was simply drowning in its warm sensation that everyone says is love. One day we were reading a book, we've read it a thousand times but some how it never lost its charm.

"Rin, kiss me," Haru asked while I was in the middle of reading a sentence.

"Why?" I asked scanning him up and down to see if it was a cruel joke.

"I know you're in love with me. And I sure as hell am in love with you," he explained.

"No," I resisted for obvious reasons, what I desired wasn't as important as protecting him.

But, then I felt his strong hands forming to fit my face and bring me up to his tender lips. A shudder sped through my body. His body was overwhelmingly warm, like a fire that I longed to burn inside of me. Our lips had an air-tight seal; even so I let out a few well placed moans. His intense amount of concentration and passion focused into that kiss was so amazing.

I opened my eyes for a second to see his were still closed. He looked as if he was focusing on one thing and trying to reach it in seconds. Haru's kiss never flanked from its starting heat and intensity, it was my fire for the moment. We kissed for what seemed like days, but it was only a few seconds. I looked at him with new eyes, he loved me, and he wanted me.

"Rin, will you go out with me?" Haru asked cupping my cheek and looking deep into my soul with his eyes.

"Haru, I can't…" I answered looking away almost in tears.

"Why can't we? We love each other, it's so blatantly obvious in your eyes, in your smile," He returned.

"I…I…I just can't!" I yelled standing up and heading for the door.

He beat me to the door and blocked my way. I tried to push him out of the way but he only stood his ground. Haru looked at me once again,

"Why can't you go out with me?" He asked again.

"Haru…Please don't do this to me," I begged reaching for the door knob.

He grabbed my hand and held it to his face. Haru traced the defined lines of his cheek bones and then held it in both of his hands.

"Rin, you're being unreasonable about this," He started. "I know you love me, why do you have to deny your feelings?"

"I'm not denying them," I lied.

I honestly wanted more than anything to say 'Yes' and wrap my arms around that beautiful man. But doing that meant putting him harms way, as I've said before I couldn't handle it if he got hurt because of me.

"Isuzu…I love you, please, if you love me too then say yes," He begged holding my hand close to his chest and lightly dusting it with kisses.

My knees grew weak as his lips just barely grazed my finger tips. Haru's words were beautiful and I couldn't take it anymore. I surrounded my fingers with his two tone hair and the other found its way down to his waist. I kissed him with the fire he taught me.

"Is that a yes?" He asked after the kiss was broken.

"That's a yes," I replied smiling brightly at him, while the back of my mind was screaming at me to run away.

Haru was always there for me, there was never a moment where we doubted each other's intentions or actions. It seemed to be all too perfect. I thought my life had finally turned around and was headed to a path that was laced with smiles and love for Haru. My father's words still haunt my thoughts. Nothing could remove that stain from my memory, no matter how much love there was.

Even when I was around him, my face would still be a slight scowl. I think his main goal was to make me laugh as much as he could before he had to leave. He would always tickle me, say the most random things and tell jokes so stupid that you had to laugh at them. Sometimes, if Kagura's family went away on vacation Haru would stay the night. Since I always stayed home it was the perfect opportunity, though not very respectable, it was fun.

The more time I spent with Haru were both a blessing and a nightmare, quiet literally speaking. Everyday Haru told me that he loved me; I loved him more than words could say, but my father's words yielded more power than Haru's right now. When I dreamt, it usually started off nice and kind of random. The dreams would always make shift tenses to my childhood. I would relive those horrible years in what felt like forever. Most of the time from what Kagura and Haru tell me I scream, cry and kick while I sleep.

The first time Haru stayed the night I was so excited, I was hoping that my nightmares would subside because he was with me. That was not the case.

We fell asleep around midnight and I rolled over onto my side to get comfortable to slip into a slumber.

"Good night, I love you Rin," Haru said kissing my cheek and slipped into a quick sleep.

"Night Haru," I said back biting my lip to not say 'I love you'.

My dreams had started the same way, happy yet random. There were hearts and pies and Kagura dressed in a 1920's flapper outfit. The tense shift happened. Instead of Kagura standing in front of me I was in my 9 year old body begging my dad to stop…

"Please daddy…stop, I'll be a good Rin," I whimpered letting a small tear flow out of my eye.

Those were the types of dreams where you know that you're dreaming but you have no control over whether you wake up or not. The dream continued, I was tossing and turning, becoming hysterical, nothing was stopping me. Tears just started to pour out of me, and I couldn't stop myself. Suddenly, a hand out of the darkness took my shoulders,

"Rin, wake up! Wake up!" Haru yelled shaking my delicate shoulders.

I waved my arms around frantically, he continued to shake me. My eyes refused to open no matter how much I pleaded my lids to rise.

"Rin! Rin!" Haru continued to yell.

With some kind of miracle my eyes opened but more tears came too. I saw Haru grasping me and I hugged him. I cried harder,

"Oh Gods, I thought I lost you," Haru confessed hugging me tighter.

I cried more, with sounds and I felt so exposed. I was so happy that it was only Haru there to see me cry like that. I hugged him for so long but he pulled away and looked me in the eyes. His hands formed around my cheeks with my long raven strands in his hands as well.

"What were you dreaming about?" He asked whipping away the rather large tears on my cheeks.

"I'm fine now, thank you Haru," I replied looking at him.

"No, Rin, talk to me, tell me what it was that was making you cry like that," He begged staring at me with those loving eyes.

"I'm okay," I lied, the dream was still lingering in my head, no matter how much I tried to push it aside.

"Please tell me Rin, I won't sleep unless you tell me," Haru threatened putting his hands on my sides.

"It was about my parents," I said laying down and rolling over once more.

Haru's hands rolled me back to face him, both of us at eye level lying down.

"Baby, when you have nightmares tell me, I can't help if I don't know what's wrong," it was the same thing he said when I went to the hospital.

His hands were still on my sides, he pulled me in for a kiss. My fingers wrapped them selves around his soft hair and I looked deeply into his beautiful gray eyes.

"Haru, do you really love me?" I said the second before his lips met mine.

"I do, and I always will. Nothing can make me stop loving you Rin," He promised kissing me after words.

We didn't continue to kiss after that, we just fell asleep in each other's arms. The next morning Haru told me that I had another nightmare, though mild than the first, it still scarred him. He made pancakes for breakfast, and served them to me since I had developed a fever sometime during the night. Luckily, Hatori stopped by and gave me a shot before the fever reached a critical point like it usually did. Life seemed perfect.

However my perfect life was too good to last in that stage. I knew that she would find out, I just knew it!


	4. Akito did this to me

A/N: Another graphic chapter but in a sexual way, so if you think it's gross, then too bad, it's rated M for a reason so heed the warning! If you want to continue reading, then…YAY! More hits for me! .

Chapter 4

"So, you think you can love in my family?" Akito asked stalking closer and closer to me.

I was speechless, how did she find out? Who told? And more importantly, what was going to happen to Haru? Her hand wrapped around my throat, she lifted me up off the ground. That was a shock since her weak state I didn't expect such power from her.

"You'll see that no one could ever love the useless horse. Everyone's love is for me, they all worship me. Except you…" She looked down for a second but her grip didn't loosen as she did. "You are the odd one out. Why is that? Do you hate me?" Akito's sarcastic voice was very similar to my mother's, but Akito's was wrought with evil.

I closed my eyes mentally hitting myself for getting into this kind of trouble. After me, she's going to go after Haru, and I would never forgive myself if he were to get punished because I was too weak to my emotions. I will never forgive myself.

"You are such a troublesome girl, Isuzu. I guess you need to learn your place…" She finished.

Akito backed up a little bit, while still grasping my throat, and threw me with such force it broke the window. We were one the 3rd story of the building, so the fall wasn't long, although it felt that way; it was the velocity that hurt.

I was falling out of the window. It felt like I was falling down a black hole and I was never going to hit the bottom. I began to build my walls higher. All the walls that Haru had scaled became dangerously tall and there was no way anyone was going to hurt me now. I had to protect myself as well as Haru, the only way I could do that was to distance myself from him.

I saw my silk hair flying above me, my hands were still reaching out as if some one would come and grab them and pull me to safety. My fingers actually started to wrap around the air as if some one's hand was in front of me. The fall scared me to death, but also imagining what will happen once I hit that hard pavement made me close my eyes. It will hurt more than anything to not talk to Haru or to kiss him, to have him anymore. Compared to not having Haru, the fall was nothing more than a scratch. I wish I had enjoyed the fall more, because when I hit that ground, I couldn't be with Haru anymore.

All the days of kissing in the rain, spending hours talking, saying 'I love you' it would be all over. I hit the ground, and it seemed as though I had aged a year because it was such a long fall.

A long shard of glass lodged itself into my back; I let out a sharp gasp of pain. I heard a pitter patter of little feet coming towards me,

"Rin! Are you okay? What happened?" I heard a familiar voice call out to me.

I looked up and it was the lamb, Hiro. He was running to me with the most worried look I've ever seen him wear.

"You need a doctor; I'll go get Hatori and Haru!" He exclaimed turning around.

I grabbed onto his leg before he started out. I couldn't let Haru know.

"No! You can't tell Haru!" I ordered.

"What is there to tell? You're hurt he'll want to know!" Hiro argued, he of course didn't know the whole story.

"Akito did this to me…" I angrily admitted.

"Akito? She's here?" He asked looking around nervously.

"She threw me out of the 3rd story window, because she found out about me and Haru…I don't know how," I choked back my tears from both physical pain and mental.

"Oh gods…" Hiro whispered kneeling down to me.

I took a hold of his collar, and brought him to my eyes.

"Haru can NEVER know! If he does then we'll both be in more trouble."

"Rin, he deserves to know! You can't let him just sit there while you bleed to death!" Hiro pointed out that I was bleeding all over the entrance. "I have to call Hatori-san!"

"Don't tell Haru, or I swear I will make it more trouble than it's worth," I growled at him.

His eyes widened but, he nodded in agreement. Hiro ran to the front office and I guess he called Hatori because about 10 minuets later he showed up and carried me to his car. I was rushed to the emergency room. I was very dizzy from the amount of blood loss. The doctors around looked familiar, one of their faces were Haru's.

I must have been hallucinating, I nodded off into sleep. One doctor kept yelling at me to stay awake, I tried but my mind was about to shut off. The doctor went as far as to slap me to keep me conscious. I gave the Haru look alike a glare of annoyance.

"You have to stay awake!" He yelled shaking my face.

"But, I want to sleep!" I whined twitching around on the bed like thing.

The doctors were all yelling for medicines and numbers, my mind couldn't stay focused on what they were all saying. I heard Haru yelling behind me, I'm not quiet sure what for. But, next thing I knew I was waking up on a hospital bed, again, with one eye completely black, bandages all over my arms and legs, and a big patch on my back. I felt around my arms, the cloth so foreign, my arms must have been really screwed up to has that much bandaging. I ran my fingers over my eye; the patch was so large, what happened to my eye? I don't remember that part of the fall.

"She is resting, visiting will start once she is stable," the nurse said on the other side of the door.

Her shoes gently hit the floor as she opened the door. She checked my heart rate, pulse and updated my charts. I grabbed her shoulder and turned to face me.

"Who was that visiting?" I asked weakly.

Was my voice really that weak? I sounded so helpless, but I'm not! I know I'm not! I was stronger than this; I'm not some weak child who needs the help of these people.

"A young man that had black and white, he said to tell you that he loves you and to get well soon," The nurse replied turning on her heels and leaving me.

Oh gods! That was why I was lying on some hospital bed in the first place. I let him convince me to love him, or rather show that I loved him. I couldn't let anything like that happen to him, I just couldn't. He was the one thing that I really loved, if he got hurt, I…I couldn't forgive myself. He was the only one who had ever loved me for who I was, no the only person who had ever love me.

I had to distance myself that time, there was no way I could show my deep, burning lust, desire and want for him. My body had to become all ice, there couldn't be a trace of fire or it would melt all my carefully structured barriers in an instant. That meant no more Haru, for the next few days I spent my time remembering all the good times; going over all the moments where we let passion and intimacy take hold of our fragile, delicate bodies. Like, incident in deep winter…

Haru was over at my house because Kagura's family was on another of their family's famous trips. He had been there since about noon. All day it was nothing but talking, kissing, cooking and drawing. We were in my room kissing and exploring with our hands. Haru did something that no one else could, he sent me into begging fits.

"Dear Gods, now Haru! Please? Can we do it now?" I pleaded tugging at his shirt and clawing at his chest.

Passion's strong grip held me and refused to let go. My body felt as if it were on fire, although the room that surrounded us was cold, making my feet go numb. My senses were heightened; I could smell his skin so easily, even if my head was thrown back in fits. I widened my eyes he knew exactly what to do to make me beg for what I wanted. I wanted him to make love to me.

He laid me down flat on the bed and kissed me deeply. Haru's lips ventured down my neck, biting it roughly almost like he was trying to make me into a vampire, first long bites, and then quicker ones. All my nerves were crying out for Haru's skin to touch them.

"I love you Rin," He stated looking into my eyes.

"I love you too Haru," I replied looking as equally deep into his gray pools.

Haru's eyes looked different, not like he was happy with love, but deeply in love. There was a spark that I had never seen before. I never wanted to leave that moment of pure love and intimacy. He slowly unzipped my jacket and took it off my pale arms. Haru lifted my upper body up and slid my shirt off exposing my body to the bitter chill that filled the room.

I lifted his shirt off, he lifted his arms up, I guess to make it easier. His hands held my waist while he kissed me back to the original position. I was lying on the soft blankets with only a skirt, panties, and a bra on. His fingers undid the zipper of my skirt and slid it down my legs, very slowly as if he were teasing me, knowing that he wouldn't start until I was completely naked in front of him. I opened his belt very fast and undid his pants button and zipper. I practically ripped them off him and threw then on top of my clothes. He let his lips explore the vast area of my body.

Haru finally unfastened my bra and took it off gently; he tossed it aside to the growing pile of our clothes that we had shed thus far. He held me tighter, not kissing me, not turning me on, and not doing anything besides that.

"What's wrong Haru?" I asked hugging him back.

"Nothing, I'm just fine. I wish we could stay like this forever," he started. "Just like this, in love, naked, not caring about Kagura's family or Akito."

His mind wondered. I could feel his warm sweet breath touching my shoulders. Then, I could feel his teeth sinking into the flesh in between my shoulders and my neck. He was still holding me close to his body; the warmth he radiated was so amazing I could barely sit still while he was on top of me. We both still had our underwear on, and Haru would not stand for it.

He grasped my panties and took them off with such grace. I took a hold of the elastic band on his boxers and tore them off of him that was the last of our clothes to be added to our pile. The next hour was more of a blur; I remember being so close to him that I felt like no one could hurt us if we were like that. I wanted him more than just like that; I wanted all of him in those moments.

In the last few minuets of that perfect situation he put his hands on the sides of my face, his nose almost touching mine, his breath fast and shallow.

"I love you Hatsuharu," I whispered to him my breath just as fast as his.

That was the only time I had ever referred to him as Hatsuharu without anger in my voice.

"I love you too Isuzu," Haru parroted back in a soft tone.

His head lowered to kiss me, the kiss was extraordinary, and I felt like I was on top of the world.

The memory melted back into my mind as a soft knock echoed at my door.

"Come in," I said a little stronger.

The door opened to reveal Haru, with a red rose.

"Hatori told me that you wanted to see me," He told me.

"Haru, to be quiet honest, I'm tired of you," I lied biting down on my lip to prevent from saying that I loved him.

His face was hit with shock, his eyes wandered all over the room then back to me.

"You can't mean that Rin," He insisted, even though he was right I couldn't let him know that.

"It's over, Haru. Please don't talk to me again, do not attempt to see me, I do not wish to be with you anymore," I coldly said, just as I had rehearsed the day before.

He walked over to me, "No, you don't mean it. I know you don't," he hugged me and attempted to kiss me.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled pushing him off me with the strength I had.

Haru's face reflected pain and anguish, even if he didn't mean to show me that I could read him like a book and I could see that the whole conversation tore him up. But, he couldn't possibly feel all the pain I did at that moment. He was only feeling heart break, I was feeling heart break as well as memory stabbing at my soul. Haru set the single rose on my table and turned around and left.

As the door clicked shut I felt my entire world fall away. I broke down and sobbed into my hands. My mouth was making sounds that were so pathetic and juvenile, it was disgusting. I was dependant on him and now that he was gone I was nothing more than an empty shell. Maybe I was mean to end up this way, sobbing in darkness, alone and wanting but never having.

The next day the nurse in charge of me handed me a note, it was from Haru, It read:

_Dear Rin,_

_Get well soon, I miss you more than anything. Just know that—_

After I read that line I just crumpled it into a little ball and threw it at the trash can, although I missed, I still didn't want to read it. Curiosity was tugging at my consciousness, I wanted to read it, but I knew that if I did it would make it harder to avoid him. I looked over at the red rose, its thorns, the petals, leaves; it all reminded me of Haru. All of his faults, as well as his perfections were all in that single rose. I reached over to it and smelled it deeply.

The sent was so sweet and it intoxicated my mind as I cupped the bud and sniffed deeper into it. I pulled back for a second and looked at it; his face was lightly etched in the crimson petals! Maybe I was imagining it was at the time, but I couldn't stand to look at him right now. I tore the rose up in a fit of rage.

"NO! I CAN'T SEE YOU!" I screamed tearing each delicate petal off with such inappropriate emotion behind every rip.

I held only a stem with tattered leaves hanging onto it but, just barely. I hugged the stem as if it was Haru and I was asking him to forgive me for being so stupid. But, all it was, a torn rose stem that couldn't be my Haru holding me and kissing away my fears. It was all gone for those moments and it killed me inside to know that that was the only way to protect him. I wished I could have it all, him, protection, and confidence, anything to make it easier to live my cursed life.

"I miss you already…" I whispered placing my face in my hands once again.

I woke up the next morning. The unread note was still bugging my senses to read it. I couldn't stand the curiosity anymore! I lifted my body off of the stupid bed and ran to the crumpled paper on the floor. I opened it as fast as I possibly could nearly ripping it in the process.

I was shaking as the note read:

_Dear Rin,_

_Get well soon. I miss you more than anything. Just know that I love you and always will. No matter how hard you try to push me away I will never leave you. Even if you get tired of seeing me I won't leave your side. Keep that in mind because I will find out what happened to you and I will kill the person responsible for it. _

_I'll never stop loving you forever and always. _

_Forever your faithful servant, _

_Haru_

I fell to the floor as I read the letter. No one in my life had been that devoted to loving me as I pushed them father and farther away. He really surprised me, he always has. I covered my face with the letter. The paper carried the scent of my beloved, how I wish I could hold him again. Just wrap my arms around his fragrant body that I craved so much at that moment.

But all of that was behind me, I had to break the curse and I was willing do sacrifice everything to do so. I needed the cure to this plague, to free Haru my beloved and to apologize to him for all I've done wrong. Breaking the curse was the only thing I needed to focus on at the time. I didn't know how complicated things were going to get from there on out.


	5. Breaking Down

A/N: This one is slightly shorter but more dramatic! Tell me if you like it! .

Chapter 5

A few weeks passed and I could walk stably by then. I couldn't stand being in that damn hospital anymore! It brought back so many visits and memories I wanted to leave buried deep in my mind. I was going crazy, the smell, sounds, the feel, it all made me want to claw the paint off the walls. I needed to leave that place behind and run somewhere far off into the distance!

I spied my clothes on the chair near the window. Ah, how convenient! I threw the covers off of me exposing my paler than snow legs to the brightly shining sun. I ran to the dark colors. I pulled the short skirt on before taking off my gown.

Just when I was about to untie the frail strings on the back the door knob turned. I began to panic, who was it? I jumped into my bed again and covered my fragile body once again. The usual nurse walked in, she did all the usual things. Checked my IV's, took a glance at my charts, and listened to my heart monitor.

But, why would she have to look at it? If it's beeping then I'm obviously still here! Then, she asked it, the stupid question she asked everyday!

"So you feeling okay?" always with that dumb smile too.

_Yes, I was thrown out of a 3rd story window, there a bandages all over me and I had to break up with the love of my life! I'm just dandy idiot! _Was the usual thought when she asked that damn question. But, as usual, I didn't say anything I just stared at her and tried to kill her with my eyes.

"Well, that's all for today! You should be able to leave in about three days," she explained so cheerfully.

She walked out of the room with a little bit of a bounce in her step. Why was she so freaking happy at the time? Maybe she was always like that and I never bothered to notice. I didn't notice immediately, but she said three days. Did I really want to hold on for that long?

I tossed the blanket aside again, that day was so repetitive, and I got annoyed with it every time I had to redo things. I rushed over to the rest of my clothes, so happy to see colors other than the stupid pink that was painted onto those walls. That was when I decided that pink was a hideous color.

I heard a knock at the door, another visitor or nurse. I was really fed up with all the interruptions in my escape. I dashed back to my bed and covered myself…again!

"Come in," I coldly shouted at the one wanting entry.

Haru walked in…no, I didn't want to see him! I couldn't let him see the tearing agony in my face, so I turned to face the window which was to be my escape route.

"I know what you're thinking Rin," it was almost as if he was threatening me, the way his voice washed over my existence…very smooth but almost like he knew everything.

"Fine then, Mr. Psychic, what am I thinking?" I sarcastically retuned his statement.

He put his face next to mine which I was facing the window at the moment. His hot breath was escaping into my ear, how I missed that for so long. Haru lightly brushed my face with his, sending shivers up and down my spine. Then, he took a strand of my hair in his hands and twirled it while he answered.

"You're going to try to leave the hospital," my heart stopped for a second.

How did he know? Haru then proceeded to take the blanket off of my legs and saw my skirt on me.

"Just as I thought," He laughed a little in a semi-sinister way. "I knew if I put your clothes there, you would try to escape, I was right."

He ran his fingers through my hair, brought my face close to his. He lightly ran his lips over mine and tried to kiss me. I pushed him away as fast as I could. No matter how much I wanted him I couldn't have him without hurting him.

"Get off me you pervert!" I screamed at him putting my hand over my mouth hoping that I could keep the warmth on my lips.

"I can see it in you eyes Rin! You want me so badly! You're just too scared to be with me!" He yelled back at me.

Haru walked up to me and embraced me tightly I kept hitting his arms and back but it didn't work, he was a thousand times stronger than me. His strong hold did waver for a second. He brushed my head trying to calm me down. Admittedly it was working, but I couldn't let him get the best of me. Haru kept kissing the top of my head and whispering "Shhhh," in my ear.

"I love you Rin, and I'll do anything to have you," He whispered looking into my eyes.

I felt like I was about to cry, so I turned away. I bit down hard on my lower lip so hard that I tasted warm blood filling my mouth. It tasted so awful, but I couldn't just yell at Haru to take me back, forgive me, to love me all over again, all of this had to be closed up. He put his fingers on my chin, I felt like submission would take over when I was with him. I smacked his hand away and gave him a cold stare.

"Don't touch me," I coldly commanded as blood dripped down my lips and onto the ugly gown I was wearing.

I forgot I was bleeding! I covered my mouth as fast I could, Haru couldn't see it! But, he did. His eyes widened in concern. He rushed over to me and cupped my cheek, he pushed my hand aside. He ran his fingers over my lips and stared at the blood on his finger tips.

"Rin, what did you do to yourself?" Haru asked examining my bloody flesh.

"None of your business," I answered pushing his chest as hard as I could.

He came back to me anyway! Why did he do that to me? I wanted so badly to just let him look at my lip and kiss away the pain of being alone. I had to keep him away! Haru put another finger on my cut and wiped away some of the blood, and licked it off his finger.

"Get off me you psycho!" I screamed pushing him away again.

"Rin, you need me, I know you do," Haru calmly said rushing back to me.

"GET OUT!" I commanded.

I knew he was right, but I needed to protect him more than anything. At the time I guess he was the only one that really understood me. He knew things that no one else could comprehend. I got up from my hospital bed, I felt weak and feeble, what happened? Just a minuet ago I had all the strength in the world…what was going on?

I walked over to Haru carefully, my legs were shaking, and I don't know if it was because I was weak or nervous. I fell to the floor and Haru rushed to catch me. His strong arms lifted me up to a standing position.

He stared me in the eyes and said, "If you don't love me, deny it now…"

I turned my head away and scowled, I couldn't say 'no' because then he would know I was lying, but then again I couldn't say 'yes' because then he wouldn't he wouldn't leave me alone. I was so confused at that point. I just broke down and started crying. I sobbed so loudly, and so hard that my voice almost left me.

"Do you still love me?" asked a relentless Haru.

"No, I have no use for you anymore," I replied whipping my tears off with the back of my hand.

"It's okay to be weak Rin, why can't you see that?" he asked frustrated.

"NO IT'S NOT! I HAVE TO BE STRONG AT ALL COSTS!" I yelled as more tears fell down my face.

"Do you still love me?" that question was about to break everything that I worked so hard to uphold.

"No…"

He just smiled and hugged me, "It's okay Rin, I know what you really mean…"

I wanted so badly to just stand there and be held by this warm man, but I couldn't. I pushed him away again, more violently this time though. He backed up and hit the wall.

"Get out…" I let out the low growl clenching my fists and staring at the ground like it had hurt me.

"I'll never leave your side…"

I was about to break and crawl up next to him and cry until I was asleep. Instead I grabbed his sleeve, opened the door and threw him out.

"I don't want to see you ever again Haru!" I screamed slamming the door.

As the door hit the frame loudly I dropped to the floor. My weigh felt so immense I couldn't bear to stand up on my own. I cried silently, muffling the sounds with my gown. I heard Haru's boots walking back to the door. The door knob didn't turn…he didn't' knock…all I heard was him sit down next to the door and drum his fingers.

"I love you Haru…" I whispered silently into my gown.

"I love you too Rin…" he said on the other side of the door.

I looked at the door in amazement, how did he know? I didn't make a sound…how did he know what I said? I only cried harder after that, he knew what I was thinking. Oh god I love him so much and it hurts so badly to act this way to him, but I have to for the sake of him.

One day I'll set you free my love, that's the day that I can make you truly happy. Maybe then you'll understand why sometimes I can act so selfish and cold to you. The only way I can cut all the ties that bind you is to cut the one we have. Whether or not you're still with me, I want you to be happy.

"I understand Rin," Haru whispered softly before I heard his footsteps fade away into the bustle of the hospital.

"I don't know what to do anymore! Please help me gods!" I cried out, even though I didn't expect a reply.

I swear I'll save you Haru. I'll save you from the darkness, form all that makes you sad, and from Akito. I'll save…no matter what it takes. I'll sacrifice myself to ensure you're freed from this painful curse. _Because it's okay for it to end with nothing left in my hands. (I took that line from volume 14! I love it!)_


	6. I can't do anything

A/N: So I hope you guys like this chapter, I took some dialogue and scenes from the manga so yeah. I added my own twist to some of it though. All criticism welcomed!

Chapter 6

All I thought about was Haru. Haru this, Haru that. Everything reminded me of him! Anything and everything! I couldn't escape him; he was in every part of my life now.

Ever since he kissed me a few days before I couldn't escape his face. Some days it got so bad that I just wanted to call him and tell him to come to my room. Then I would throw myself at the mercy of Haru and beg for forgiveness. But, those were the days where I lost sight of the prize, and uncursed and happy Haru, so much better than my own happiness.

"Rin Sohma, you're ready to check out," the cheerful nurse stated patting my bag and carrying it out to the waiting room where Hatori was waiting for me.

"Hello Isuzu," Hatori greeted taking the bag from the nurse.

I glared at him; he was the one who put me in here in the first place. He walked out of the hospital and I followed him to the car. We drove in silence for a while, and then he broke it.

"Do you want to go to the summer house? Everyone is there right now," he asked looking over at me for a second then back to the road.

"Whatever," I answered even though I needed to go there to ask Gure-Nii-san about how to break the stupid curse.

If anyone were to know how to break it, it would be him. Akito's favorite…Shigure Sohma. How sickening…favorites and Akito hates me for no reason.

"Hatsuharu is there too," Hatori interrupted my thoughts.

I looked at him as the words hit my ear drums. Haru...I couldn't see Haru! No! I just can't! I need to see him…I want to see him. I want to cry to him, I can't cry to him. I can't see him, can't want him, can't hold him, kiss him love him.

I can't do anything.

After an hour of driving we arrived at the summer house.

"Don't you dare tell anyone I'm here…" I warned giving Hatori another glare as I climbed out of the car.

"Secret's safe with me," he joked, I knew he would tell some one that some one couldn't be Haru though.

"Don't you tell Haru, I'll never forgive you if you do," I threatened slamming the car door.

Hatori walked into the house, I chose to walk around the outside where all the grave sights and picturesque landscape was. I was walking around for quite a while before I started feeling sick. I coughed harder and harder. I thought my lungs were going to come up through my throat. I fell to the grass and grasped my chest, coughing harder still.

"Who's there?" I heard Yuki's voice coming towards me.

I whipped my head around and he was standing there, without anyone yet. I composed myself and ran. I ran fast and far, then my body gave up. I collapsed on the ground a few miles forward. I couldn't stand being a human anymore, I fainted.

When I woke up I looked around, through different eyes though.

_Damn it! I can't be like this right now! _

I got up on all four of my legs now. I continued to run. I ran passed Yuki and _that girl _again. I felt my legs fall from under me and I landed on the green grass with a thud. I was falling in and out of conscious, and then I saw them. The hurried over to me.

"Isuzu Sohma! I'm so glad to finally meet you!" Tohru greeted happily.

I wanted to cry to her, not kick her. But, I chose the second one instead at that moment of anger. Yuki caught my foot luckily, I didn't want to hurt Tohru, merely scare her.

_Change back to human! Change back!_

Then pop I was human again and naked in front of the two. I really didn't care, it didn't phase me and they didn't seem to mind. I stared at them both long and hard, what do they care if I'm weak? I know I was at the time but I wouldn't admit it and Yuki knew as well as I did. I looked at the pair, back and forth, and then I picked myself up and ran again.

_Just keep running, soon you'll be away from here, _I told myself letting my hair fly in the wind as I scanned the ground for my clothes.

I finally stumbled across them and scrambled to put them on. I pulled my long black sleeve when I turned and saw Yuki standing by a tree only feet away from me. He only stared then walked towards me. I knew he told Haru, I knew it…that traitor! Yuki got closer and closer.

"Why are you here Rin? You know Haru is here and he told me that you broke up with him," He tried to put his hands on me.

I knew then that if I let him comfort me that I would grow to expect that from everyone and I am never going to be that weak no matter what. I pulled my arm back into my body and walked backwards.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" I shouted running away from Yuki but I was stopped along my way out.

"Rin…" I heard his voice, clear as a bell.

I stopped dead in my tracks, unable to move, so helpless to his presence. He is the type to demand my attention without knowing what he's doing. I craned my head slowly around to see Haru standing there in all his radiant beauty. The sun reflected off his features so perfectly he looked almost angelic, the sight made me melt inside.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly turning my eyes into ice.

"What are you doing here Rin?"

"None of your business," I answered standing straight now.

"Maybe not, but I still care about you," he answered straight up.

That's one of the things about Haru, he was always honest and got to the point, and he never danced around a subject if it begged to join the waltz.

I stepped backwards, almost stumbling over a root that was protruding from the ground. I stood in one spot now; his eyes were piercing through my carefully constructed façade. I was helpless to his gaze, and the feelings of having to beg for forgiveness hit me full force. I needed to be in his arms again, and instead of my face showing that, it showed anger towards him.

"So what? I don't love you anymore, I don't need you," I coldly contradicted.

He didn't look the least bit phased by it.

"So, it doesn't matter if I die?" Haru asked staring me in the eye.

My eyes widened, was he mental? If he died, what would I do? I couldn't just go on existing without him.

Life without Haru is not a life. Life like that is wondering around an empty shell when your last fill has been ripped away from you. Just walking around surviving, everything meaning nothing, sleeping with a pit in your stomach of a void so deep black isn't the right color for it…that is no way to live. To live without Haru is to live life without passion. No way to live at all, I can't live that way.

He reached out to grab my arm. I yanked it away, even when I had convinced myself that life isn't worth it without Haru. He persisted, still again even when I rejected him.

He reached out again, "KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!" I shouted backing up even further tripping over the tree roots.

Haru grabbed my arms and picked me up. He spun me around in a circle like in all those cheesy romance movies and then pulled my body close to his, the kiss. It happened as if it were written in the script of said romance movie.

How long had I waited for that kiss? The one where it made my whole world tremble and my body ache for more…the one that meant that he loved me even when I rejected him time after time. I don't remember his lips tasting so sweet, or being so soft.

I couldn't stand not being close to him, I clung to his shirt. My tongue caressed his in a crazy battle for affection, I needed more, and it would never be enough with just this kiss. His hand was holding the back of my head and messing my hair up a little, the other was holding my hips in place against his. How I longed for more skin to skin contact with

I wish that moment would have lasted forever.

But soon the kiss broke and he only looked me in the eye and said, "I love you Rin, no matter how much you want to be away from me. I won't leave you alone," he informed me as if it were a bad thing.

It was for my plan but not for my heart. More than anything I needed Haru.

I looked at him; I couldn't stand seeing him like this. I turned and ran, for as long as my body could take it. Physical pain was nothing compared to the hole that was tearing every second I saw Haru standing there telling me that he loved me…

I don't know what to do anymore…


	7. Intangible breeze

Chapter 7

He loved me. He loved me like no one else ever had in my life. I felt like shit, he loved me and the way I returned it was by saying bitchy things and run away from his love. The one thing I loved about him more than anything, he wanted me…

"_Rin, I love you," he admitted to me one night when we were lying on the couch together. _

_I tucked my chin into my chest and closed my eyes. I loved him pure and simple, but admitting my feelings is one thing I'm no good at._

"_Do you not love me?" Haru asked lifting my chin and looking in my eyes. _

"_I…I…" I stammered._

"_Even if you don't love me, I always will love you, that is a promise," he understood the way I worked, that I couldn't admit it…but he knew I did. _

…That promise is probably getting harder and harder for him to keep…and I never want him to break it.

I woke up in a bed…whose bed was it? I sat up quickly and looked around the room. It looked like the summer home…what was I doing there? The door knob turned and in walked Haru…

"WILL YOU STAY OUT OF MY LIFE?" I screamed standing up and soon falling to the ground.

_How could this happen? I know I'm not that weak! _

"Just as I thought, you've worn yourself out again Rin. How long are you going to keep doing this to yourself?" Haru asked rushing my side and holding me so tight I couldn't move or get away.

_Until I free you…_

"I love you Rin," he said almost crying.

I could hear in his voice he was about ready to give up on me. His strong shoulders began to shake and his voice wasn't as strong as it usually was.

"I love you so much. It tears me up to see you running from me, to see you falling apart. All of it just kills me inside," he confessed taking the sides of my face.

I couldn't move, not from being restrained, it was my body, it wouldn't let me. I loved him so much that I couldn't let him know that.

"Please Rin, I need to know if you do love me," he begged holding one of my hands in both of his and kissing it softly.

"I…I…" I stuttered again.

"Please? I want you more than anything, I love you so much, I can't stand the distance anymore," Haru closed his eyes and a stream of tears fell.

I turned my head; he just made me face him again.

"I need to know," he said with more composure than before.

"I…Love you Hatsuharu Sohma!" I cried embracing him tightly.

He returned the embrace. After a second he broke the embrace and cradled my crying face in his hands and kissed my face repeatedly. I loved it so much. All those months of fighting to find an end to the curse, all those months of loneliness and agony gone within a few minuets. I loved him and nothing was going to change that.

Even if I wanted to uncursed him, I was weak. Without his soft touch, I have no reason to be. My whole life was a fabricated existence, living the way I was told to, the way I was meant to. When Haru stepped in I felt alive, like I was able to live for myself rather than by what standards others set for me. I stepped out of the assembly line and became a real person with real feelings.

That's the way Haru made me feel.

Then…it happened. One second it was present, tearing my soul apart, and then next it was an intangible spirit flying away in the breeze. The very thing that was ripping me to pieces was now a thing of the past. I saw Haru's fly out of him too.

It felt like a hand reached inside of my chest and pulled a thin cloth through its entry. An overwhelming amount of freedom flooded my body. All the weight of being cursed had vanished…and I loved it.

The spirits intertwined and then they were carried off by into the heavens. I started to cry. For the first time since I was nine I was crying because I was happy, not from sadness. Haru held me tightly and stroked my head.

"We're free…no more suffering," he assured me with a joy in his voice so defined it was unmistakable.

"I'm so happy! We're free!" I cried holding him tighter.

I don't know how long we were sitting there crying and holding each other, but it seemed as though our long journey was finally at its end. Little did I know what Akito would do when he found out…?

"So, I feel it, you and Hatsuharu have been released from the curse. Am I wrong?" Akito asked me.

We were standing in the middle of the woods. I was on a walk before all of this.

"Yes, and now you can't dictate who we will and will not love," I told her standing straight up and smiling my smile of 'ha-ha I won!'

"Well, I guess I can't tell you what to do anymore. You have finally beaten me," he put his hand out for me to shake.

I hesitantly took it and shook it for a bit. After a few seconds he pulled me closer to his body and then the next thing I knew there was a sharp pain in my lower stomach. He let me fall to the floor and started to laugh.

"You can never beat me! When will you learn? You can be released from the curse, but you can't be released from this family!" Akito reminded me.

I clenched my stomach. It was actually closer to my uterus that he stabbed. The pain was surging through out my body it was almost unbearable.

"Rin? Where are you?" I heard Haru's voice calling to me…how beautiful.

"Rin?" his voice was more alert and concerned once he saw me.

I smiled gently as I felt reality slip away through my fingers.

"No Rin, don't do this to me! Stay awake!" Haru yelled drawing me into his chest. "Don't leave me here all by myself!"

I weakly attempted to hold Haru in my limp arms around him. He picked me up and started running as he had many years ago when I collapsed in front of him. However, this time he could carry me all the way to the house.

He burst through the door knocking it to the ground in his frightful panic. He ran all over the house looking for Hatori. He finally found him and started to yell and cry he was almost as coherent as a 2 year old.

"Rin, hurt! Help please? Blood!" Haru started to just say random words that upset him about the situation. His hand covered the stab wound and showed the blood to Hatori, offering his hand to him as if it were diseased.

"Hatsuharu, calm down! I can't help her if you panic," Hatori said.

"Rin, she's hurt! How can I be calm?" Black Haru yelled changing from the juvenile white Haru to this one who got mad easily.

Hatori said, "We should get her to the hospital."

"Ya think Sherlock?" Haru yelled sarcastically while still getting madder at his foolishness.

They rushed to the car and Haru held me in the back seat while we all hurried to the hospital. When we reached the hospital Hatori started yelling at the doctors with Haru and I was flying into the emergency room in no time.

Doctors were yelling and saying things like "Does it hurt?" Well, I just got stabbed you do the math! They shot needles in my arms and told me to relax. I fell asleep and then next thing I knew I was laying on a hospital bed. The memories of all the times I had played this doctors office game came back to me.

"_We don't need you…"_

I shook my head. I opened my eyes to see Haru lying on my bed next to me. This was new; he usually sat in the chairs, the ugly stupid plastic chairs... I hate them all. He felt me stirring and woke up.

"Rin, are you okay?" he asked sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"I've been better," I admitted yawning. "Why are you sleeping up here?"

"Well, they didn't yell at me, so I guess it must be okay," Haru thought this out and then just shrugged.

I placed my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes again.

"You should sleep, you've had a pretty rough weekend," Haru said lying me down and then resting his head on his hand and playing with my hair.

"Weekend?" I quizzically asked yawning again.

"Yeah, you've been sleeping for the past 2 days. But you did talk while you slept," he said smiling slightly.

"Really? What did I say?" I asked looking up at him sleepily.

"Pretty much all you talked about was your parents. Though you did argue with some one about your audience before you sang, it was really cute," he laughed and then stroked the side of my face with his index finger.

"_Does he know about Akito doing this to me? Or about the window for that matter?"_ I thought hoping that it didn't show that I was worried.

"Oh, and I know everything that Akito's done to you," Haru confessed looking into my eyes. "Don't worry I took care of it. Hiro told me about why you broke up with me…the whole window thing. And I already knew it was Akito who stabbed you."

It was as if he read my mind…I loved it. He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me deeply. Never again will I take his kiss for granted. Never…

A doctor walked in, it didn't look like he had the best of news. He sat in one of the ugly chairs that I hated so much.

"Listen…I think that you should know that your uterus was damaged, badly," he started.

"What does that mean?" Haru asked clenching the blanket in his hand.

"It means that she is unable to have a child without putting both of them at risk," the doctor answered.

"_Not have children?" _my body began to shake. If it was one thing I wanted from a long relationship it was a child…and now Akito took that away from me?

The doctor stood up and left without another word. Haru stood up and paced for a minuet.

"What's wrong Haru?" I asked worried that he wouldn't want to be with me since I couldn't give him children.

"Well, I just learned that you can't have kids. Do you think I'm okay?" he snapped.

As soon as he realized what he did his face softened and he came over and held me in his arms. "I'm so sorry baby, I didn't mean to. I'm just scared for you."

I embrace him back crying into his sleeve. He pulled me off his body and looked me in the eyes.

"Why are you crying?" he asked wearing a worried look on his face.

"I can't give you kids! I wanted to have a kid with you more than anything, I wanted to raise a child and teach it right from wrong. Now Akito took that from me! I can't give you a child!" I sobbed grabbing him again.

"Rin, it's okay. Don't worry," he cooed stroking my head softly. "Having a child isn't the number one thing in my life, you are. Since you're okay I'm just fine. There are other ways to raise a child; there is no way to replace you."

My blurry vision only allowed me to see his beautiful smile. I cried even harder because of his kind words.

"Why are you crying Rin?" he asked getting worried. The tone of his voice changed from calm to concern.

I laughed a little; it was cute how he knew so much about how to win me back but nothing about happy tears.

"You're so sweet!" I exclaimed hugging him tighter.

Haru laughed and kissed my hair. He climbed into be next to me and we fell asleep. I had wonderful dreams about raising a child with Hatsuharu Sohma…the man I love and always will.

A/N: It's at the bottom again! Lol. Well, this isn't the end rest assured! But it will get really good so that you guys know! . hope you enjoyed my version of the uncursing of Rin and Hatsuharu Sohma! . Any criticism, etc. always welcomed!

Love,

Rin-chan


	8. Fragile

A/N: Here is chapter 8!!! I expect for all of you to review! I had some serious writer's block, so forgive me!! But here it is and I should have some more chapters up soon!!! So please love me!!! Lol! Enjoy!

Chapter 8

I stayed in the hospital for many weeks, the doctors ran tests, gave me shots of medication, and made sure I was okay. And even though they did all of this to me, Haru was always in my room even when visiting hours were over…Maybe he threatened them? I don't know, but I was grateful for every second I had with Haru.

"Rin, I love you," He would whisper to me very often.

It was as if he was trying to make up for not saying it enough when we were broken up. I never wanted to break up with him, I never wanted to leave him for that matter, I love him and that's all there is to it. Most of the time in between all the doctors, nurses, visitors and daily meals (they brought one for Haru too…) Haru would hold me, talk to me and read to me.

The thought of never being able to have a child of my own was enough to drive me to tears. I wanted to give Haru a child to hold and know that the child is our own. The child would have been a symbol of our undying love. A symbol of all the troubles we had to go through to have her or him. I would never be like my parents…never, I would cherish my child the way Haru cherished me. Maybe…things will never work out for me?

"You say 'never' too much Rin," Haru stated in the middle of my thoughts holding a can of soda in one hand and a piece of chocolate in the other.

"Huh? What makes you say that?" I was puzzled by his words. _How did he know I was saying 'never' a lot in my thoughts? _"Are you some kind of mind reader? How did you know what I was thinking?" I finished watching him sit in the chairs I despised so much.

"It doesn't take a psychic to listen to what you say," Haru chuckled lightly referring to the fact that what I was thinking wasn't in fact staying in my mind.

Haru reached up and cupped my face in his hand gently. His lips found their way to my forehead and he smiled at me.

"Having a child isn't proof of anything, we can adopt. Just because you can't have a child doesn't mean I'm going to abandon you. You are the one I love," he said handing me the chocolate and soda.

I smiled to him and then looked at the 'meal' he brought to me.

"How nutritious," a few shards of ice stabbed my words.

I honestly didn't mean to be cold, it just came out. Haru didn't seem to mind, he must be used to it, or he knew that I didn't mean it so thought nothing of it?

"I know."

"Sohma, Isuzu, You can go home now. The doctor has decided that you are stable enough to be out of here," a stout nurse said to me before handing me a lolly pop and walking out of the room.

I stared at the lolly pop with confusion…_How old do they think I am? _I wondered turning the lolly pop this way and that way. Being in the hospital this time wasn't so bad. I had Haru, he made me happy.

Although, he couldn't lessen the nightmares, he did help me through the night. There were many nights I woke up crying, or in a cold sweat because of them. No matter what the circumstance was, he was there. A few nights I woke up and then threw up all of my food and all he did was take the sheets off and go get clean ones. He also brought me my tooth brush; he knew I hated not having clean teeth.

I love him…never again will I allow myself to lose him.

I looked over at Haru who had my suitcase packed and was placing it by the door.

"Haru," I mewed stretching my arms out like a small child.

"Yes Rin?" he answered walking over to me and hugging me.

"Nevermind..." I replied hugging him back.

A few months later I was able to do everything normal again. I could run, swim, I could even have sex without fear of being pregnant. I guess life is the way it should be right? I was lying on the couch next to Haru.

"Haru, why hasn't Akito come back to break us up again?" I asked stroking his hair.

"That's a story for another time," He replied kissing my lips lightly.

"No, I want to know what happened," I demanded pulling away from him.

"It's not important. What's important is what's going on right now."

"You can't trick me with pretty words. Tell me!"

"No! It's not important!"

We were fighting, something that didn't happen very often. However when it did, things got bad.

"Tell me right now!!!" I yelled standing up.

"No! It's not your concern!" He yelled standing also and facing me.

"Yes it is!!!"

"You're just nosey! Stay out of that!"

My fingers formed into a fist, "What the fuck is your problem?!?"

"My problem?!? You're the one who can't leave the past alone!"

"Oh, So now it's my fault?!?"

"I didn't mean that…"

"Then what did you mean?!?"

"Forget it! You're just going to get mad at me!"

"News flash Hatsuharu! I'm already mad at you! Might as wall just put more fuel in the fire!" I yelled throwing my arms out as if to say to the world that I was mad at him.

"Forget it Isuzu! You just overreact!" Haru stated running his fingers through his soft two tone hair.

I was taken back by his comment, my face flushed red, "Fine then!" I then stomped out of the room. I walked into my room and slammed the door.

Technically it was both of our room, since we were living together and everything, but for now it was solely my room. I heard a faint knock at the door. Then Haru's face appeared.

"I'm sorry Rin, I didn't mean any of that," he apologized standing in the door way shyly.

"Well…it's okay," I admitted swallowing my pride in gulp. "Are you going to tell me how you got Akito off our backs?"

Haru's face tensed a little but he stepped to me, "Yes…I threatened him…grabbed him by the kimono…beat up his wall for a bit."

"Why didn't you want to tell me?" I asked curious as to what he might respond with.

To me that was stupid to not tell me…but that's just what I thought. Haru sat down next to me on our bed and looked into my eyes. My whole body seemed to turn to jello as he took me in his arms. The strong arms of the ox had enclosed my waist and cradled my head as he tilted my body backwards onto soft sheets below us.

"I love you Rin," Haru said avoiding the question.

At that moment it didn't matter at all. I just softly stroked each bang of his white hair and started dreamily into his bottomless grey eyes.

"I love you too Haru," I answered his need for love and then raised my body to meet his.

He sat me down gently and straddled my waist. Haru laced my neck with kisses and soft loving bites leaving a dainty chocker of teeth marks and hickies. I only held him close and whispered in his ear.

_Life is perfect…_

Or so I thought…

_Ding Dong, Ding Dong! _The door screamed while Haru was lovingly undoing the fastenings on my shirt. He growled and threw his shirt back on as the doorbell continued to call for our attention. I thought Haru might have ripped the door off of its hinges when a postman was standing on our doorstep with a small envelope

"Package for Isuzu Sohma!" he almost sang.

"Thanks…" Haru snarled at the sing-song postman.

"Have a fantastic day Mr.!" looks like some one around here was getting laid and it wasn't me nor was it Haru.

"Who's it from?" I asked fastening up my shirt.

"…Akito…" Haru breathed.

I tore through the room to get to Haru whose arms and hands were shaking violently from either shock or fear I don't which.

I stole the package from him and ripped the paper off of it.

_Hello Horsey!_

"What the fuck?" I whispered at the greeting to the letter in the package.

_I, Akito, am inviting you and the ox to the main house tomorrow at noon. We are going to have a talk about your futures. I expect to see you there. I have some exciting news for the both of you!_

_Akito_

"You know she's being sarcastic right?" Haru informed me.

_She? _

"She? Akito's a man…" I stared at Haru quizzically.

"Oh fuck…"


	9. She's a little Runaway

**Chapter 9**

As usual Haru dragged me to the Main house. He begged, he pleaded, and then he just carried me to the main house. I didn't put up much of a fight because I knew that he was going to win anyway.

"You can put me down now Haru," I informed him once we were half way their.

"Are you going to run away?" He asked still walking forward.

_Dammit…_I thought furrowing my brow at him.

He simply smiled and continued to walk. Haru laughed a lot more since our curse was broken. He laughed that laugh that I longed for in the cold months I was pushing him away from me in everyway. I loved every second of his smile, laugh and love.

We finally arrived at the Main house where Haru even carried me inside so that I wouldn't run off once we reached the door. When I was set down I attempted to turn around and run out of the door. Haru blocked my way and forced me to face the man I hated so much.

One thing that bothered me since I received was that Haru referred to Akito as a 'she'. The incident had been tossed around in my mind and beaten up by my reasoning. I had decided that it was just a mistake. However, that was invalid, he said "Oh fuck" after he called Akito 'she'. So, I just pretended I didn't hear him say that, it made everything easier to figure out.

A newer, younger housekeeper walked up to us and bowed, "Master Akito is ready to see you," she said in a light and free voice.

She led us to his bedroom where we were alone. The room was nothing short of dead. Akito was nowhere in sight, no plants, no vases to smash into people's eyes. There was an undeniable blanket of sorrow present, nearly suffocating, in this room.

"He called us here, and we have to wait?!" I yelled growing impatient.

I didn't even want to be here, so why should I have to wait?!

_That bastard wanted me here. He should at least have the decency to show up on time! _

I began to stomp out of the room when I heard his voice come from the sliding doors in the back.

"I'm so glad you could make it Isuzu, and you too Haru," he said sliding the door out of his way.

What I saw next, nothing in the world could have prepared me for.

_Purple…Pink…flowers…birds…Girl kimono? What the fuck are those?! Boobs?! _My mind couldn't take all of that in at once…

"You're a…a…" no words found their way to me as I stood there dumbfounded by the person presented to me.

"Yes, Isuzu, I am a woman," Akito said almost seductively.

He-I mean she- walked into her room slowly as if letting the thought settle in that she had been a cross dresser my entire life. A headache smacked me so hard I thought I was going to fall over. I looked down at Haru who didn't seem phased by this new discovery.

I swear my jaw was on the floor.

"Isuzu, it's rude to stare," Akito's ironic sense of humor played well in this moment.

"Huh?" I snapped out of the phase with no smart comeback.

"No witty banter?" Akito lounged back on some pillows in front of the two provided for Haru and I.

"I-uh…" I was absolutely speechless, so unlike me.

"You're probably wondering why I called you here right." Akito's sarcasm dropped and it was just Akito.

I simply nodded, that's all I could do without sounding like a baboon on crack.

"Well, has your precious Haru told you how he got me to leave you alone?" Akito asked with an evil smirk gracing HER features.

"He said he threatened you," I straightened my posture so that I looked like I had at least a little bit of composure.

Akito didn't miss a beat, SHE began to laugh. It was a dark, sultry, low laugh.

"I'm so sorry Isuzu, but you've been sorely mistaken," she informed me holding her head from all her laughter.

"Excuse me?" I asked becoming more irritated with this, newly found, woman.

"He didn't threaten me in the least. He- -

Suddenly Akito was cut off by Haru himself.

"No, don't you dare…" he warned getting so defensive all of a sudden.

"Oh but why Haru? We had so much fun…" Akito laughed a fake girly laugh and began to crawl towards Haru.

"No…" Haru answered looking like he was about to punch Akito's face off.

Akito reached Haru and I had the strongest urge to kick her in the stomach and tell her to leave him alone! The goddess reached up and caressed Haru's face with her pale, cold hands as she smiled deviously.

Haru knocked her hand off his face. The look on Akito's face was one of pure shock.

"For being such a bad cow maybe I _should _tell Isuzu what our bargain was?" she asked sitting up straight again.

"You better not…" Haru growled and glared at her.

Akito however was not intimidated in the least. Instead she reacted by just leaning closer to me.

"Haru…he got me to leave you alone by…" Right as Akito was about to tell me she glanced over at Haru. "Sleeping with me…" Akito let out a small fake laugh as she finished.

_Sleep with…? What the hell? This can't be real…I'm in a dream…No…this can't be true, Akito being a girl, and then sleeping with Haru? What the fuck is going on?!_

My mind raced for answers. But could find no other solutions. I looked over at Haru in bewilderment. Haru looked at me as he was the one hurt by all of this.

"Rin…" he whispered reaching his hands out to me.

I pulled away, "Don't you dare touch me!" I shouted standing up and walking out of the room.

I left the main house in tears. I'm not sure if they were tears of anger or depression. Whatever the reason behind them they were falling. I attempted to wipe them away with the back of my sleeve. I stumbled over everything as I walked away. I found myself in a park outside the Sohma estate.

_How could he do that to me?_ I thought with my face buried inside my hands.

_He said that he only threatened Akito…Then again he also referred to Akito as a 'he' in his sentence. _

The sound of footsteps shook me out of the state I was in. I jerked my head up to see who it was. I didn't see anyone. However, I also wasn't going to take any chances. I dove into some bushes.

And who should walk into the park? Why it was none other than Hatsuharu Sohma! He was running, as well as breathing, hard. He took a quick look around the park and continued running.

I didn't want to return to our house. The only other place I knew, that would have me anyway, was Gure-nii's house. I poked my head out from the bushes and saw no sign of Haru, so I took off into the direction of Gure's house.

I soon ended up at the front door of his house. I knocked twice before Tohru came to the call.

"Hello Rin-san!" She answered brightly inviting me in.

"Tohru…" I began.

I was a little shy about asking to stay at their house. I felt intrusive, to say the least.

"Yes Rin?" Tohru asked bubbly and tilting her head to one side.

"Can I…" I started again. "Stay here for a little bit?"

Tohru seemed a little shocked by the question but her face cleared up almost instantly. She took my hand and led me upstairs.

"Of course! I won't ask why since it's not my place, but I'm really worried, Haru-san came over here earlier looking for you." She yakked on and on.

Tohru pulled me into her room and began to dote around looking for pajama's and blankets for me.

"I can sleep on the floor, you can take the bed," Tohru chirped.

I didn't want to impose on her, but I knew that if I objected she would start to fuss, so I didn't argue.

"Are you okay Rin-san?" she asked snapping me out of my thought process. "You look sick, are you feeling well?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered her and nodded.

After Tohru set up the room she showed me the bathroom and kitchen and told me that I was welcome to use either at any time. Tohru made sure I felt right at home inside the walls of Shigure's house.

I took Tohru up on the offer of a hot shower. My whole body was encased in steam and scalding water. In my mind my skin was so dirty and I had to burn it off in the shower. I twisted the knobs to off and a fluffy towel waited for me outside the shower curtains.

I wrapped my body in the towel. The pajamas that Tohru gave me were a little too big on my legs because my legs are very thin, but they provided a type of security that I needed right now.

After my skin-burning shower I went into Tohru's room and crashed. I slept so soundly from the heat of the water I had cleaned my body in. I frowned as I slept, knowing that the love of my life slept with my biggest oppressor. That made my skin crawl again…how disgusting.


	10. What can I say?

**IsuzuForever**: Here's Chapter 10!!!! . squee

**Haru:** What the hell is your problem?

**IF:** What ever could you be talking about oh Haru?

**Haru:** STFU

**IF: **You're just mad that I made you a slut! hits him a little

**Haru:** Damn Straight! Why did you make me sleep with Akito?!

**IF: **For the sake of the story! We all must make sacrifices!!!

**Haru:** Yeah, what are yours?

**IF:** Time?

**Haru: **Yeah right! You love taking time to torture me and everyone else in your stories!

**IF:** mutters that's beside the point… .

**Haru:** You need a life seriously…

**IF:** Would you like me to start with yours? pulls out knife

**Haru:+** meep+

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay! My internet was disconnected and stuff but now it's up!!! I typed this while it was down!!!! thanks for all the compliments and reviews on the last chapter!!! I would like to say thanks for Chi and Shaffer (ann. reviewers sadly) since I can't thank you both by mail, this seems to be okay. Thanks again everyone!!!

**Chapter 10**

I moped around Gure's house all day. I didn't want to do anything at all. All I wanted to do was eat and sleep. My depression took a nosedive into deeper waters. Yuki saw me trudging through the kitchen, he tried to talk to me but I only glared at him. He didn't quite get the hint though.

"Isuzu…you need to talk to Haru…he's a mess without you," he tried to convince me to talk to Haru.

"You think he's the only one suffering?!" I yelled snapping my head around. "He slept with Akito! How am I supposed to look at him the same way?!"

"If you truly loved him then you would forget about that! He slept with her to protect you!!" Yuki retorted. "You're being selfish and childish right now Isuzu!"

"Fuck off rat!" I screamed building an invisible wall between us.

"Yes…that's what you always do…" He let out a small laugh. "You insult us all and expect us to back down. Haru is different. Should I remind you of all the times you pushed him away from you?" Yuki asked leaning back.

_He seems more confidence…wonder what happened to make that come about? _I silently wondered throwing a menacing glare at him.

I sighed to myself and continued my march upstairs. The blanket I had made a cocoon out of was slipping off my shoulders and causing me to trip on my way up the stairs. My body felt sluggish, my eyes were weak, and my mind racing.

_Should I forgive him? After all, he did it to save me…but it was AKITO! How could he sleep with him- her- it? Despite the fact that he knew what Akito did to me he still slept with her! I just don't know what to do anymore…_

It was a good few minuets before I heard Gure-Nii calling my name.

"Rin! What are you doing?" He asked pointing out the fact that I was sitting on the stairs instead of walking up them.

"Huh?" I stupidly said pulling out of the trance I had set my mind in.

A small, dark, devious thought was born in my mind.

_I should tell Gure about what happened between the two…hehe…Let's see what he does when he finds out his precious Akito slept with Haru!_

Shigure looked at me for a second as if I had three heads. I turned my eyes to him, making sure my look was evil.

"Shigure…do you know what Haru and Akito did together?" I asked pulling the blanket up on my shoulders.

I was waiting for a look of suspicious and suspense, but there was no trace of such a look.

"Yeah, why?" he returned.

I was at a loss for words…_If that doesn't devastate him…then what the fuck is wrong with him?! _

"This isn't the first time Akito's been unfaithful with me. Rin, the past is none of your business but me and Akito aren't known for our chastity," Shigure let out a laugh that sounded sincere but I could tell a piece of him was hurt by the past.

I cocked my head at him, I wanted to know more, but knew that he wouldn't tell me if I didn't ask.

"What happened?" I inquired, curiosity killing my cat.

"Rin…that's none of your business, I already said that," he replied turning back to his study.

I huffed before turning to finish what I started, that was walking up the stairs. I climbed the stairs, each one felt like a mile. When I finally reached the room me and Tohru were sharing I let out a gasp…

"H-H-Haru…" I managed to spit out.

_How does he do that?! _

Hatsuharu Sohma was sitting on the bed that I was going to nap on. The sunlight spilled in and gently hugged his beautiful figure. He looked up at me as I spoke his name. I saw his bloodshot eyes, his pale hands and desperate iris's.

"Rin…please believe me…I love you, I wanted to protect you…that's why I did it," He apologized advancing to me.

I turned the other way. Staring at the ground the pain of Akito's meeting hit me all over again. Just knowing that he was making her love the movements of his body…it sickened me.

"NO!!" I screamed slapping his shaking hands away. "You slept with her and you expect me to forgive you?!?" I questioned watching his heart break as mine crumbled at the site of him breaking like glass.

"I don't expect you to forgive me right away, I just want another chance….Please give me that?" Haru begged on his knees.

I bit my lower lip and stared out the window as he clung to my legs in forgiveness.

_I don't know if I can forgive him…_I thought trying to hide the tears that streaked my pale cheeks.

"Rin…please let me make it up to you..?" he asked this of me.

I didn't know if I could let him make it up to me…but I did anyway.

"If you screw up this time…there are no more chances…" I gave him the ultimatum, screwing up means he loses me forever.

I was scared that things would be good for a while and then he would lose interest in me…although it never happened before, there's a first time for everything.

I moved back into our house that night. Even though I was willing to work on forgiving him…he slept on the couch. I think it would be a while until I would invite him to sleep on our bed. At this point in time I was calling all the shots. If felt so weird to be in total power, rather then being balanced.

"Haru, I don't like this…" I finally admitted one day when we were walking around downtown.

"Don't like what?" Haru asked paranoid, almost as if I was going to break up with him right then and there.

"Not being equal. I don't like having to tell you what to do to get my forgiveness. If you want to be forgiven by me it should be from your own thoughts, not mine. So from here on out we are equal and if you want to be back to normal then you will have to come up with it on your own…" I explained.

Out of nowhere I felt Haru's arms fit my form and his breath quick on my left cheek. He held me there, in the middle of the sidewalk outside of a bakery shop, kissing my forehead and apologizing to me.

"Haru…do you want to go back home?" I asked him as I was growing tired of being outside anyway.

"Sure," he agreed.

We caught the bus home, there was almost no one on there since it was mid-afternoon on the weekends, and everybody was downtown already.

I felt Haru's hands race to my face and cup it gently the moment before his kiss came crashing onto my rose lips. It felt right to be on equal ground again, this kiss was the proof that we were equals again.

The door flew open as he came rushing through it. Our kisses were quick and passionate, nothing short of love-filled. I knew that. Haru kicked the door closed with his booted foot and began to strip me down. I threw his clothes in all directions as our fragile bodies scrambled for the bedroom.

His lips kissed me, bit me, and loved me. I kissed him, bit him and loved him back. We didn't have sex…no we made love. This was the kind of love my body cried out for in those lonely nights in our bed which was always empty. This was the kind of love that most people can only dream about, and it was in my grasp. In fact this love was _begging _for me! I had this love from the start.

_Why was I so blind to this before? I had him all along, I'm never gonna let go now. _I thought stroking rebellious strands of pure white hair out of Haru's face.

"Haru…do you love me?" it was the same questioned I've asked a million times.

His face was buried in my shoulder. He pulled it out of its burrow to answer me.

"Of course…I'll always love you, even if you left me cold I could never move on. You'd always be on my mind and in my heart," Haru answered as his lips met mine in a battle of passion.

_Oh dear god…I love you Haru…more than anything! I'm willing to accept anything you've done just to be with you like this…just like this. _

I wish that time had been temporarily suspended for only a few hours more. I needed all of him…nothing less…all of him. I need him more than I need to be alive…I love him.

I brought Haru's face to mine. A big kiss rewarded him. I turned his ear to where I could whisper in his ear.

"I forgive you…" I finally said biting his ear lobe.

**A/N:** This is not the end!!! I have another, if not a few more, chapters left!!! I hope you enjoyed this one a lot! I really loved writing this one especially!!!! . R&R I love to get feedback from all of my loyal, and new readers!!!

Love,

Rin


	11. The sun shines brighter

**A/N:** Here's the 11th chapter! AHHHH!!! I feel so accomplished! I don't know the marriage laws of Japan…so I stuck to the American ones .. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!!!! Review!

**_Chapter 11_**

Ever since I had forgiven him it was like first love all over again.

First love—like when you're first going out with some one. The whole period of time where you guys dote over each other, when all you do it talk no physical stuff involved, and the part where you guys just can't seem to see enough of each other.

But one thing that has and always will be is the fact that we have always wanted to make each other happy. I would say things to put a smile on his face, draw a picture for him out of the blue…you know do cute things just to see that beautiful face find it's way to a smile.

Now it's to the point where Haru and I are sleeping in the same bed again. That doesn't mean that we are having sex. I told him we have to slow it down if we want to make things better. However, things were already better…even though I thought they never would be better than before…they were and still are!

I can't find a reason to frown! As I hold his hand I'm fully aware that I'm never going to be alone again!

My high school graduation is today…joyous occasion…whatever. Haru promised he would come see me get my diploma, and I know he will come. As I sat in the gown and hat the school provided for us I craned my neck around, scanning the crowd for my love. I soon spotted him sitting with Hatori-Nii and Gure-Nii. He let me see the energetic wave signaling that he saw me. I waved back smiling from ear to ear.

"Is that your boyfriend?" the girl next to me asked.

"Uh-huh," I answered swelling with pride.

"Wow…he's hot," she said glancing back at him.

"You bet!" I replied blowing a kiss to Haru.

Ever since I had let the pain go I've felt like a new person. My soul felt so much lighter as if I had never experienced hurt or sorrow. The new feeling was so great that I wanted to fly off to heaven and scream at the top of my lungs this joyful expression.

I glanced back at the crowd…but Haru wasn't there?

_Where is he? _I wondered searching the ocean of people for the two toned beauty of my life.

"Sohma, Isuzu," the principal said into the microphone.

I snapped out of the trance and walked up to the stage to accept my diploma. As my body reached the shade of the overhanging Haru came into focus. My smile doubled in size. He held my diploma out with one hand as the other held a secret behind his back.

_What is he doing? Why is he on…Oh dear gods…he's not going to is he? He IS!!! _

Haru knelt on one knee before me.

_He's going to do it!!! _

A small red velvet box was in his hand while the other surrounded my left hand.

"Isuzu Sohma, I love you. Ever since I met you my life has had meaning. The light of the sun could never compare to your beauty or to your sweet voice. I will always be in love with you…never will this change. I live only to make you the happiest person in this world. I want to make you shine even when the sky is storming. My existence was made to be with you. I will never hurt you. Everyday will bring the new possibility to heal those wounds that have plagued your mind. I will be the one to heal those wounds and chase the scars away. To me you are perfection and I need to have you in my life. So please, allow me the pleasure of having your hand in marriage…" Haru's speech brought a tear to me eye.

"Isuzu…Will you marry me?" he popped the question as he popped the lid to the box.

Velvet pillows held a ring that looked to be one karat diamond. The diamond was gently cradled between two deep red rubies. A squeal fell from my lungs and onto the air.

"Of course I'll marry you Hatsuharu!" I exclaimed as my hands shook like a Californian earthquake.

The ring was slipped on my finger and he stood only to be knocked down by my sudden embrace. I was so ready to marry him that I didn't care about all the fancy things and showy details. I just wanted to call him mine forever.

I lay on top of him kissing his sweet honey lips. The hands of an angel groom my hair tenderly as we form a beautiful moment of pure love. His lips felt so fragile yet so strong, like they could speak the whole truth every time I asked for it.

It was a few minuets before the principal broke us up. If he hadn't I could have died right then and there in Haru's arms completely happy. If God is great then this was the point in time where he had proved it. Or rather…_she. _

I didn't care about it anymore! I had forgiven him and that was that! We never brought it up and it never bothered me. It happened yes…but it's in the past just as everything else was.

Admiring the huge rock on my finger I walked back to my seat to be greeted with cold glares and words of congratulations.

But…the rest of the ceremony was a blur. I couldn't get my mind off of the fact that Haru wanted me to be his wife. The me who pushed him away so desperately to protect him but only hurt him with it was the one he asked. He wanted to be with the me who had been so cold after a big mistake. Last of all…he wanted to be with the me who was severely flawed.

First, before we pick out the location of our wedding….we had to get his parents to sign some legal document saying that he _could _get married to me. Needless to say I was nervous beyond reason. I wasn't exactly what you would call…liked by his parents.

Last time I met with them they only nodded and smiled at me. Then later that day they caught us making out like crazy and told me that I had to leave. I heard them yelling at Haru the second the door knob turned.

We sat in Hatori-nii's car as we sped down the street to get to Haru's house. It had been only days after he asked me to marry him. His hand was laced in mine so tightly. I could tell he was as nervous as I was.

After what felt like a lifetime and afterlife we arrived in the living room. Across from me sat his mom and I could feel the daggers flying at me. His father filed into the room with a tray of tea.

"So, what do we owe this pleasure to?" his mom asked with a hit on sarcasm mixed with her formal manners.

"Well…we….Ummm…Uhh…" Haru was as a loss for words. "Wanna take this one Nii-san?" he asked turning his head to Hatori who calmly took over.

"What he's trying to say is that he has asked Isuzu to marry him and we need your consent to do this," Hatori elaborated handing them a few papers of legal mumbo-jumbo.

"Well…this sure is a shock," Haru's mom said with a speck of ironic laughter in her voice.

Haru's dad set his tea cup down with a small click of the porcelain, "Absolutely not."

_Oh great…his black side…_ I thought as Haru stood up fast enough to where a normal person would fall back down.

"What is your problem?! We only ask you to take 2 friggin' seconds out of your ever so 'busy' lives to sign a stupid paper that allows us to get married and out of your hair!!!!" his words hit both of them like stones.

"Haru…you are far too young to understand love-" his mom began but was cut off by his continual outbursts.

"No! You don't understand! You guys don't love each other! You're only together so that you guys can reap the benefits of being the parents of a zodiac!!!"

"That's not true—"

"Yes it is!"

Haru's dad then stood up and turned his back to the conversation.

"No you don't! We are BOTH going to deal with this!" his mom had finally raised her voice to the occasion.

"It doesn't matter! Neither of you were there for me anyway! Why was I expecting this to be any different?!" he screamed storming out to the car.

I only stuck around long enough to hear Hatori try to convince them to rethink the situation.

"Please, if they do it now at least they have your blessing. Either way they will do it sooner or later."

I then followed the Black Haru. He sat pouting in the back seat. The door popped open. This was his invitation to me for me to join him. I climbed in and sat next to him. His tantalizing eyes followed me. Just as I settled down Haru's body flew onto mine knocking me onto my back.

"Haru, are you okay?" I asked a little scared of his aggressive nature right now.

"Never better," he sarcastically answered kissing me roughly.

"Stop Haru…" I asked knowing he would stop soon anyway.

He snapped out of his Black state and back to white. His eyes softened and his hard expressions became lighter.

"I'm so sorry Rin!" he apologized as he helped me back into a sitting position.

Haru's hands fluttered over me to check for any threatening damage or dark bruising. None was found so he just settled for dusting my face with sweet kind kisses.

"It's okay Haru, you were in your black state," I pardoned his behavior with the multiple personality thing.

"That's no excuse Rin…if I ever hit you, then leave me and never look back. I mean it Rin," he warned me although I knew he would never hit me.

"Why should I worry about that?" I asked crooking my smile to one side. "You'd never hit me. If you were going to you, you'd have already done it."

"This is no time to joke. Rin, I'm dead serious if I ever try something like that again just hit me and leave," his voice didn't falter…I knew he wasn't joking at all.

"I promise," I responded kissing his lips.

"Okay, I've got it all worked out," Hatori said settling into the diver's seat and starting up the car.

"What do you mean?" Haru asked curiously.

"I got them to sign the papers," he answered looking behind him for the unlikely event of a car coming by.

"Are you serious?!" I exclaimed feeling higher than the clouds.

"Yeah, you guys can get married now."

A huge kiss with the pent up energy was sure to lead to other things later, but for now it was all I could give to Haru to show the amount of happiness I had right now.

Maybe this wasn't such a bad day afterall?


	12. Tossing out the lies with the bouqet

**A/N: Please read the bottom portion! Thanks-a-bunch! Now on with the story!**

**Chapter 12**

"What the hell…?" I whispered looking at Kagura as if she had just contracted leprosy.

"You heard me! Male strippers for the bachelorette party!" Kagura, however didn't say that like a bachelorette party thing…it's was more of tea party expression she wore.

"What is wrong with you?!" I yelled getting frustrated at the boar.

"Nothing…I just…umm…er…already sorta booked them…" she told me playing with her chocolate brown hair.

"WHAT?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" I screamed wanting to rip all of my hair out.

"No…they're gonna be here tonight at 8:00…hehe. I guess we better get decorating?" Kagura laughed trying to run from me.

"Get back here!!!" I yelled chasing her all over her house.

I finally gave in to Kagura's insane request to let the stippers in without killing them upon arrival. When 8:00 rolled around the guests for the party were already here. Tohru, Kagura, and a few of my friends from school (Hizou and Kourui). To be honest, the were my only friends in school. But, we were having a great time! We played sex related games which sent Tohru into a blushing nightmare.

The door bell rang. I stood up to answer it. I pulled the door open to reveal a pack of buff men brandishing axes.

"We heard there was a fire here Isuzu," the front one said almost barging in.

"Uhhh…" I was at a total loss for words.

"If there isn't one there will be when we're done…" he said walking in and taking his jacket off in the process.

"Take it all off! I want more!" Hizou yelled in a cute little voice.

The fireman in the back brought in a stereo and turned on the highly provocative music. The show was hot! I can't deny that, but I would prefer it if Haru was the stripper. We however ran into a snag in the middle of the show. One of the men pulled Kagura up on the 'stage' and began to dance with her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she draped her arms on his shoulders. They pulled together closer and then…poof Kagura the boar was sitting on a pile of sexy clothes.

"Okay boys time to go!" I yelled shoving them out before the smoke cleared.

"Why is there smoke?! We need a real fire truck here!" a blonde stripper yelled as he began to panic.

"No! No we don't! It's just…umm…dusty! It's dusty! Now go! I need to clean house!" I yelled pushing each of them out.

"Wow…she would rather clean than watch men strip for her…that's a first," I heard one of them mutter as they were being rushed to the outside.

I slammed the door quickly and let out a huge sigh. I glared over at the little pig sitting on her floor. She was gonna get it now…I stood up and ran after her. The rest of the party was spent with us girls talking, drinking (except Tohru), playing games and laughing.

That was my last night unmarried, and it was a blast.

All of the preparations were made beforehand. Haru and I went round and round with trying him trying to convince me for a huge wedding. We went my way in the end.

It was a small church with tall stained glass windows. It was so very romantic to have the sun glisten in and reflect off of the pure white dress I was going to wear.

The day had finally come, it was the day! I can't believe it's here! I am standing on a little stand as the skirt to my dress is getting zipped up by my maid of Honor, Hizou. She is my best friend.

"You look stunning Rin…" she gasped when the zipper reached the top.

I turned to look at myself in the mirror. The dress was a two piece set. The top was corset style with a flower design beaded in with clear beads. The skirt was simple, pure white that flew to the floor. My veil was a tiara with tulle veil that flowed behind me.

I stepped down to be greeted with a hug from the blonde girl. She hugged me tightly and then observed me up and down. Hizou took my hand and twirled me in a circle like a ballroom dancer.

"Although I don't think that you wearing white is politically correct!" she joked flashing a brilliant smile that made me laugh at her remark.

"Shhhh! No one has to know!" I retorted hitting her lightly and letting a laugh fill the room.

Hizou stepped back and folded her arms. Her hair swayed from side to side with the motion of her head. Knowing Hizou, she was thinking of something sentimental when she was shaking her head like that.

"Haru sure has done a number on hasn't he?" she asked smiling.

"What do you mean?" I returned while making minor adjustments to my veil.

"I've never seen you this happy. I've seen you laugh…barely, but I've never seen you joke so lightly and openly. It's amazing." Hizou elaborated. "It must be true love."

My heart swelled ten times bigger, it was truly love. I hadn't stopped t think about this day yet, this day…it was the day I'm going to become one with my beloved Haru. It was so beautiful. I would be his wife. It was soon to be official!

I felt tears well up in my eyes. This was a moment that I couldn't simply just not appreciate it. Hizou rushed to me and embraced me tightly. Her voice rang in my ears as she cooed sweet words to me.

"You deserve this Rin. All of this happiness, you deserve it," she reassured stroking my head lovingly. "Now, you go and walk down that aisle, say your lovey-dovey 'I do's' and kiss that sweet man."

I laughed lightly and embraced her tight with my pale arms. I felt tears roll down my cheeks from her sweet words of comfort. She hugged me back and kissed my cheek repeatedly. The sound of the piano started and Hizou picked up the bottom of her dress and headed towards the door.

"I'll see you in a minuet beautiful," she winked and practically skipped out the door.

I smiled to her and waited patiently for my time to come. I soon heard a knock at the door. I opened it to the smiling face of Shigure.

"Shall we get going, Isuzu?" he asked offering his arm up as my 'father'.

There was no way that I was going to ask my real father to escort me down the aisle. I took his arm and we began to walk towards the doorway. A strong piano sounded throughout the church where it reverberated off the walls of my ear drums.

We walked down the aisle, where we were followed by tear soaked eyes. My smile stretched from ear to ear. As I looked up I was greeted by the grey eyes of the beloved Haru. He smiled down on me as he bowed to Shigure and then took my hand.

My chest felt painful, like it was going to burst at any second. I was so happy. This was the time of my life. The feeling of happiness was one that won't fade from my hands, that won't fade from my face. For every cold night I should face, I will remember this happiness. For any night I should feel the sting of loneliness my hands will recall this feeling of total bliss.

The priest's voice rang in my ears but I drowned it out as I focused on the features of Haru. He mouthed to me "I love you". I voicelessly said "I love you too," back to him.

I don't recall everything the priest said but next thing I knew I was saying my "I do" and Haru said his in return. Then, I felt his lips on mine, his tongue memorizing the way mine moved, and we were officially husband and wife.

Now that lie that was told to me so many years ago by my father…melted away…

"_When you're older you'll see, that not a single person in this world could ever love the horse…" _

_**THE END**_

**A/N: **I hadn't planned on making this the end but I had a good idea for a sequel and it made more sense to put the, would be, next chapter in there.

Thank you to all those who supported me throughout this entire thing.

**Special thanks to:**

AssassinedAngel- Never coulda done it without ya! Love ya Asan-chan!

Chi- Thank you for all the sweet and entertaining review love!

Ms.Hawatari- I really appreciate the support!

Otaku dreamer- You're ms.Awesome herself!

AKITO.at the disco- Thank you for giving me the coolest reviews ever!

Animefreaks121- I dedicate this final chapter to you! I loved reading all of your reviews!

KaguraxShigure- I love you wifey and thank you for being so darn hot!

LadyOfWolves- . hehe you're just amazing!!

Un-worthy- Your simple reviews always made me smile! Thank you for that!

Shaffer- Your reviews are one of the greatest…ever!

Dark'sangel and Haru'srooster- You're simply great!


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